Please Take Care of Yourself and Each Other

Lester Holt ends his NBC newscast each weekday night with the above expression: “Please take care of yourself and each other.”

Apparently, these words were originally uttered by Jerry Springer. Who knew?

During the Olympics and my own recovery from surgery (which involved benign lumps — ok, not the best medical terminology), I listened to Lester Holt’s newscast night after night. I kept hearing his refrain about taking care of oneself and each other. Each time I heard these words, I wrestled with their meaning — generally and for me.

Finding Meaning

Frankly, as a generalizable matter, I am not convinced we do a good job taking care of ourselves and each other. And, in our failure to do so, we hurt ourselves and we don’t provide others with sufficient empathy. None of that is good — for people generally and certainly for each of us as individuals.

Think about the number of people who don’t seek medical or psychological help when they need it. Yes, for some it is because of lack of access, and the needed care is too pricey. But sometimes, it involves denial. Or lack of time (really?). Sometimes it is fear. Sometimes it is simply too complicated. The doors to entry to healthcare are too tight or too foreboding or too far away. And notice the number of folks who don’t take needed prescription drugs (assuming we can get them), even though these drugs could be life savers. And for some types of health problems, there is stigma if a diagnosis is made — societal, cultural, religious.

I also started thinking about the recent vituperative political rhetoric. I have commented on this before…..It is mean spirited; it isn’t respectful; it isn’t caring. Ponder negative campaigning. It isn’t just the lies; it is the tone that is so destructive. How can that be good for anyone, including the speaker? If a speaker is so angry and self absorbed, that isn’t healthy or productive. And being mean to others is simply bad — it is harder to be mean than to be nice.

As I’ve tried to recover, I realize, too, that self-care isn’t so simple. Just saying “take care of yourself” means paying attention to one’s mind and body and their essential connections. Sometimes, it means asking for help, which can seem needy or lacking in independence. For some us us, needing help makes us feel guilty or beholden. (Some people have the opposite response, sucking out aid from others without reciprocity).

All of this is making the point that Lester Holt’s newscast sign off seems more rhetorical than real in the sense that we are confronted regularly animating his words; we are challenged by the steps needed to take good care of both ourselves and each other.

Positivity

Some of our problems with care stem, I think, from the negative bias we bring to the proverbial table. We are prone to focus on what is wrong as opposed to what is right. Think about the deficit model in education where we message what students do wrong, not what they do right. We criticize the papers that students write, oft-times without noting what they do right or the progress that they have made, even if they are still struggling and not “making the grade.”

I am reminded, in sharp contrast, of the pre-med biology course I took in college (don’t ask why I even took the courses since I never ever wanted to be a physician). On the first test, I got a 42 (out of 100) and I had actually studied. I went to the professor’s office to get his signature to drop the course and the professor (he happened to be the department chair) said: let me teach you how to think scientifically; you are thinking like a humanities person. Don’t drop.

He helped me prepare for the next test and I got a score of 62 out of 100. I went to his office again, trying to drop the course. His response: look at your progress. I said: I have a combined average of 52! He said, I’ll help. Don’t drop.

With his help in how to think differently about information, I got a 75 on the next test. He was thrilled; I was focused, erroneously, on a course average that showed failure. My test average was not even 60.

The professor then said: the final exam is coming and look at your improvement, your progress. Then he added, if you get a 90 or above on the final exam, I will give you a “B” in the course, regardless of the mathematical average. What matters is that you are learning …. You should feel good about this.

I did get above a 90 on the final and good to his word, I got a “B” in the course. I learned way more than biology. I learned that if someone believes in you, cares about you, you rise to their expectations. This experience has also changed how I grade and how I think about grading as an educator. Progress matters and we need to celebrate it …. Often. This professor demonstrated care for another. He gave meaning to Holt’s sign off.

Caring

Turning back to Holt’s words, there are lessons there. Self care isn’t easy but it matters. And caring for others — in any number of settings — matters too. And as the Olympics come to a close, one of the memories I have is how athletes supported and cheered for each other. Many of them exhibited remarkable friendship. Caring. Positivity even in loss.

Two more thoughts.

First, several years ago, JD Vance apparently criticized Simone Biles’ withdrawal from the last Olympics. He objected, in essence, to celebrating self-care, suggesting we should celebrate winners not losers. I see her withdrawal differently.

When Biles’ focused on her mental health, she exhibited courage and strength; she wasn’t a loser. She was a winner. And this Olympics, her winning was poignant because she found a pathway forward in ways more valuable than gold.

Second, Holt’s sign off starts with the word “please.” That word matters. It is a word that engenders and encompasses respect and decency. We teach our children to say please …. It is how we ask for something with a sense of the other.

So we’d be wise to try to give meaning to Holt’s sign off and actions to back up the words he speaks every weeknight. So take care of yourself and others; it matters. Please.