Crying and Neuro-diversity: A Political and Non-Political Lesson for Us All

Temple Grandin is right: we are all neurodiverse, and the way each of us sees the world has benefits and value.

Time to stop looking down at those who experience life differently, those for whom life’s emotions have different set points, different meanings, different modes of expression, different sensations.

Gus Walz crying at the DNC showcases for me the power of the love he has for his dad Tim, and he was sharing it (not consciously I am sure) on a global stage. The Republicans (OK, some of them) have compared the “crying Walz” to the “strong” Barron Trump (Trump’s son with Melania for those not following the familial lineages), both of whom I assume love their respective fathers. They are trying to say, to expand the point, that Democrats are weak and Republicans are strong, with the children being stand-ins for political stances. Crying is a sign, it seems, of Democratic weakness. Yipes. We turn differences among candidate’s children into public comparisons of party strength? For real? Seriously?

A Reality Check

Let me begin by suggesting that based on my experiences with thousands of students over a lifetime as an educator, Barron Trump has publicly exhibited signs of being on the spectrum (neuro-diverse) in his limited appearances. I am not looking down at him. I am not addressing his intelligence. I am not denigrating him. I am not judging him. I am observing him. There are plentiful articles seeking to diagnose Barron. I am not doing that. Instead, I am observing how he moves, talks, appears. Based on what I see, Barron is struggling with social connection and exhibiting facial expression.

So, it is with some obvious irony that a subset of Republicans are suggesting that the stoic Barron Trump is “better” than the crying Gus Walz. Can you feel my blood boiling over?

Now, here’s what Gus Walz’ affection for his father, demonstrated without embarrassment, shows me: Gus’ parents have raised a son of whom they can be proud; Gus’ father, the candidate for VP, adores his son for who his son is (not who he could be as to feel otherwise would not have engendered the depth of Gus’ feelings). Gus’ show of affection showcases to the myriad of diverse people in our world that it is OK to be different, it is OK to share one’s feelings, it is OK to be who one is. Look at the reaction of those around Gus when he gushed. People surrounding him were not embarrassed and trying to shush him. What a powerful lesson to us all. (And Vance told his son to “shut up” when Trump called to offer him the VP slot.)

And, the Republican derision of Gus (not every Republican to be sure) bespeaks their values, their approaches, their prejudices, their absence of empathy, their divisiveness, their stooping low. The comparison between Gus and Barron’s behavior (with Barron being the winner), as viewed by select Republicans, is despicable, ignorant, revelatory and offensive. And, given Barron’s own diversity, it is wrongheaded and wrong-hearted and wrong thinking.

The National Message

I want leaders who can feel. I want leaders who bring out the best in people. I want leaders who can recognize the strengths in others. I want empathy. I want compassion. Sure, I want smarts and judgment and wisdom and experience. Sure, I want leaders who have communication skills and strength of character. Sure, I want leaders who are problem solvers and are not ruffled by repeated kerfuffles. But, I see the need for leaders with IQ and EQ (and don’t get me started on Trump and Vance’s efforts to diminish or challenge Harris’ intelligence).

Gus' evidencing of emotion is, for me, proof positive that his dad has EQ (in addition to IQ). And, I know that Harris has both types of intelligence too. So, as I perceive it, the Gus “event” was all I needed to see to believe that we can have an America where we have respect and decency and civility and warmth and heart.

I have written so much about meanness that Gus’ emotional response jarred me into positivism. Just 30 seconds of demonstrative caring did it. Gus made me appreciate the power of the possible and the belief that we actually can have a better nation for ALL of our citizens. ALL of our citizens.

And, as an added aside as we start the new academic year: educators can feel good about what they saw in Gus as they welcome new students to their classrooms. All students have strengths. Our job as educators is to find them and build on them. The deficit model of education doesn’t work. The deficit model doesn’t work for leaders of the free world either. That’s a lesson worth remembering day-in and day-out.